Change.Everything changes.
Same goes to people.
No, especially people.
In this case, I changed.
Before,
I changed because I wanted to have friends.
If I continue being myself,
I wouldn't have any.
Not talking too much.
Waiting for people to approach me.
Respond when needed (forced).
So, I changed.
I wanted friends.
I talked to people.
I approached people.
I responded to every person in need.
I got friends.
It became routine.
"Hi, how are you doing?"
"Do you want to eat with me?"
"Are you free next weekend?"
"Want to have some fun?"
It was always me.
It became routine.
"Yes, I am good."
"Sorry, I can't."
"I am busy."
"Next time?"
Always rejected.
Time passes,
one by one,
I lost them.
Or did they lose me?
So, I changed,
again.
No more saying hellos.
No more invitation.
No more going out.
No more friends.
I become alone.
I am becoming me,
again.
And that is why,
I don't have any.
Just like this blog is dying, same goes to my heart.
My heart stop going to others.
I don't accept new things and I throw the old ones.
In the past,
I didn't get the same energy.
So why are you blaming me
when I stop giving it?
I am not asking to be understood by people,
I just want to be the one who's being asked, not the one who's asking.
I want to be the one who's being searched, not searching.
I want to be remembered, not forgotten.
When I stop doing the first part, people don't feel weird.
They don't feel any lose.
Because I was never a part of it.
I wasn't in the community in the first place.
I was a like a stray cat that you only see once.
I was like the wind that blows away.
None of it would be remembered, by anyone.