Soulmate.
Bismillahirrahmannirrahim.
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
Hi everyone, how are you guys doing during this Restricted Movement Order (RMO)? Hope everyone is in a pink of health in terms of physical and mental. Well, officially it is almost a month that I don't meet the outside world. Will it be weird when I go out later? I don't know. Let's wait and find out later.
Anyway, just like the title written; Soulmate. Started during this RMO, a lot of people talk about how nice it would be to be quarantine with significant other or soulmate. To make it simple, there were a lot of talk that how nice if we are married, now. To do things together, to live in a romantic life with the loved one.
I started to listen to Jae's podcast during this RMO and I inspired to write about this because of him. To simply introduce, Jae is a member of a band called Day6, go and check it out. Thank you.
What I have been saying before this like attracts like. We attract people that have the same vibes with us or maybe that have common factors in term of like or even dislike. So, in order for us to get a nice person as our partner, we need to be a nice person first. Well, it is fair, right? Of course. It wouldn't be fair for a nice person to get a not-so-nice person as a partner. Man, pity her/him.
Thus, we need to make ourselves better. Amagad I have so much thing to rant, I need to switch language.
Kita perlulah baiki diri kita dulu. Kalau kita nak pasangan kita tu orang yang baik baik, kita kenalah jadi yang baik baik. Nak yang boleh lead kita, yang boleh ajar kita, yang boleh tunjukkan perkara yang betul, hindari yang salah, kita sendiri kena tahu benda benda tu dulu. Cuba untuk belajar. Kalau kita masih kurang solat fardu nya, cuba cukupkan dulu. Kalau kita masih jarang jarang buka Al-Qur'an, cuba baca satu hari satu muka surat dulu.
Ini tidak, bukan main angan angan nak buat macam macam lepas kahwin. Tapi? Masa bujang tak ada pun cuba nak penuhkan diri dengan amalan baik. Takkan nak tunggu lepas kahwin baru nak beribadah dan beramal. Nak tunggu suami/isteri nasihat baik baik suruh solat, suruh mengaji. Habis selama ni mak ayah berbuih mulut nasihat, tak nak pula dengar?
Kalau masih nak pakai alasan, "Lepas kahwin nanti berubah lah," janganlah percaya. Nak berubah tu, bukan kena tunggu perubahan masa atau perubahan situasi. Mindset tu yang kena ubah dulu. Kalau asyik tengok benda bukan bukan, fikir benda bukan bukan, buat benda bukan bukan (bukan bukan di sini adalah benda yang haram ya), bila masa nak berubahnya. RMO ni tak ada benda nak buat sangat kan. Banyakkan lah beribadah, banyak masa.
Lagi satu alasan yang paling tak guna. "You deserve better/Awak patut dapat yang lebih baik." Kalau dah namanya sayang, kitalah kena ubah diri kalau kita rasa tak layak untuk dia. Tapi, kalau yang jenis rasa terlebih layak ni pun bukan boleh pakai sangat. Dalam diri kita, sentiasa ada ruang untuk perbaiki diri. Tak kisahlah dari perspektif apa pun, mesti ada juga kekurangan dalam diri kita. Jangan rasa kita hebat sangat dan jangan rasa kita langsung tak berguna. Sentiasa muhasabah diri dan perbaiki diri.
To quote on what Jae said, (not 100% accurate, I change it into my own understanding)
Imagine we as a jigsaw puzzle. To fit in, we need to cut our own edges.
We might think that we will meet our perfect soulmate but no. We need to make it happen. If we want it, there a lot of things to do. Despite two people love each other, if there is no effort and trust, the relationship will be going nowhere. Don't let the love fade away. Once its gone, it cannot be fixed. Why? It was supposed to be done when the relationship is still on going, not when it already ended.
I mean, no harm in wanting or fantasize a perfect marriage, but don't simply marry because of love. A lot of processes need to be done and this is not a game. And how I wish this is not a life gamble too.
Mind you that I also fantasize a sweet marriage but at some point, I don't even want to get married. (I don't even like men that much aha). Nah, I don't even know how my future would turn out be but I just hope I can be happy, even though only by myself (family and friends).
So, to recap;
- ubah diri kita jadi lebih baik (untuk diri sendiri dan lillahita'ala)
- usaha dan saling mempercayai
- lihat pada tindakan dan bukan hanya ayat semata (kalau asyik cakap nak ubah tapi tidak dibuat, tak usah lah buang masa)
Anyway, #StayAtHome.