Coretan diri sendiri daripada diri sendiri buat diri sendiri.

14 June 2019

Exam weæk

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

This semester is ending with another three papers left on Monday, Tuesday and Friday plus one more report to be submitted. Not like my study is ending but how I wish my life is ending. Okay, masuk cerita.

Selasa hari tu, tiba tiba rasa dada sakit. I thought it was just simple things so I just let it away. But it happened continuously until yesterday. So I texted my sister and tell her the story. So she asked me to go to clinic. And I went to pusat kesihatan this morning. 

The doctor said the name of this symptom is Palpitation. He explained to me what it is all about and said that one of the main cause was stress. Indeed I am in examination week so of course I could feel the stress. ((But I refused to agree that I was in deep stress because if I had to compare, last semester's examination was harder but I just nodded in front of the doctor.))

So I asked if there's nothing wrong with me. He said, there is something but it is not dangerous. He even checked my pulse but my heart rate is normal. I checked my pulse twice before coming to the clinic. Last night, I checked it was 92/minute and this morning it was 70something/minute. The moment I stepped out of the pusat kesihatan, it happened again.

At 3pm, I had an exam. It was just a simple subject so I thought I wouldn't be in deep thinking or stress. The examination started. A few minutes after that, my left hand felt numb. I was like oh tolonglah jangan buat hal. And my right had started to shake a little bit. I felt that the oxygen was decreasing. I tried to calm down. 

However, my seat was number three so I was in the first row so I could hear the pengawas peperiksaan berborak and it was so disturbing. I couldn't concentrate. I finished my paper half an hour earlier and went out. I actually wanted to wait for my friend to go back to college together but I suddenly couldn't breathe right. I went to the toilet and gargled. 

After that, I called my sister and I burst into tears. Oh my god I really didn't want to happen because there were a lot of people but I couldn't control myself. So I ride the bus and luckily I brought my sweater; I used it cover my face. My legs were shaking when I went out of the bus. Alhamdulillah I managed to walk properly after that. 

My sister and father asked me to eat (to break my fast) and said that tak payah puasa hari exam. Hahaha I was actually thinking to finish my puasa enam according to the day of my examination because I have 6 days of exam. Since they love me, I had to listen to them hahaha. Oh, I couldn't stop crying for a moment, I was resting for like almost an hour.

....and that was my day. When things like this happened, it makes me thinking why is this happening to me. But of course I don't have the answer. I really don't want to be a burden for anyone but things happen. Few minutes I am the happy aman and few minutes after I am the weak nina. 

I don't know whether I am really sick or I am just pretending to be sick. You know how people died because they THINK that they are going to die? 


Anyway, hope you guys will have a good day instead. 

Amanina Mohd Tarmizi -my life-

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